Part 3: The Sun Disappears

I spent a good twenty minutes finding a safe path down into the cave, always sure to have a good footing in the grass. After a few more moments, I reached what looked to be the bottom, as the cave had leveled out. The vines were still thick this far down, still getting their fair share of sunlight. I did not feel remorse about cutting them down however. I wanted the sunshine to be in view as long as possible. But the sunlight could only make its way so far into the depths of the cavern, and soon left the daytime in my wake.

Occasionally I felt the cool breeze rustle against my clothes, making its way towards the entrance. I started to wonder about last night, if it was possible that this was the same breeze I felt on the top of the hill. Could it have come all the way from down below, deep within the cave? Was this cave bigger then I had originally thought? What was more disturbing than the breeze was the grass still beneath my feet. “I have to be at least two hundred yards in from the bottom of the entrance, and yet the grass continues to grow. This grass has never seen the sunlight, and most likely doesn’t see much water in this dry and rocky cave. What other mysteries surround this cave?”

Before I had realized my mistake, I was tumbling down a steep ravine, having been too busy searching the ceiling for signs of water seepage. Luckily the incline evened out quickly, receiving only minor bruising on my legs. My misstep had cost me though, having dropped my torch to stop my fall with my hands. I looked around quickly, hoping to find the spot of either the torch or my satchel. Darkness had surrounded me, so the torch must have gone out. “Great, I fall down in a cave in which I am unfamiliar with, and now I have lost not only all my tools, but my sense of direction as well. And now it’s pitch black around me, with who knows what’s out there. Dammit, all I need is the satchel to get another piece of wood so I can make another torch, with magic or whatever.” Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glint of something shiny. I cautiously shuffled my over to it, hoping to avoid another chasm. When I reached it, I touched it gently with my fingers, unsure if anything around me could be trusted. The object seemed metallic and cold to the touch. Once again the object formed a glint on one of its edges. I realized that the only possible way for a glint to appear was to have some sort of light shining upon it. I quickly turned around, trying to find the source of the light, but took me a few moments to figure out where it had come from. Far up above me, I could see my torch that I had dropped, and the top of the ravine. What struck me as odd was its position. “My torch is standing upright, as if someone had stuck it firmly into the ground. How strange. It’s not possible it did so after I dropped it, the stick doesn’t weigh enough to force itself into the ground.”

The still lit torch provided more light than I had originally thought, and showed the position of my satchel, lying open at the foot of the hill. Lying partially out of the satchel was the pickaxe, as if on purpose. I glanced back at the metallic object, and understood the reason the man gave me the pickaxe. “I’m not sure how this object is going to help in building a better home, but hopefully I can at least save some to take home. I’m sure it’s worth a fortune!” I created another torch, and made my way back over.

What seemed like hours went by as I hacked away at the metallic object embedded in the wall, slowly chipping away the chunks. I made sure to grab each and every bit, but the thought didn’t occur to me until I was almost finished - *I must have put a good three hundred pounds of this object into my satchel, and yet without realizing it, it all kept fitting, and did not add any weight!* I wanted to keep mining for this material, but it seemed to be all hacked away.

*SPLOT* As the time passed, I had forgotten that I was still inside the cave, and unsure if I was alone. *SPLOT* The noise echoed again around me, having a good feeling it had come from deeper within the cave. *SPLOT* It was louder, and seemed to be quickly approaching. I set down my torch, and was amazed to see it stand itself upright! “Not only is the gel magic, but the wood must be magi-“ *SPLOT!* I was too busy admiring the magical stick when something wet and rubbery slammed against my face, knocking me to the ground. This time I managed to hold onto my satchel, and drew out my sword. I looked down at my feet as I lied on my back, and could see a blue slime wiggling like Jell-O in the light of the flame. It jumped once more, and with closing my eyes, swung my sword and hoped to make contact before it landed on me.

I felt the sword slice through the gelatinous creature, and heard it hit a close wall to my right. I opened my eyes, and could see it still alive at the bottom of the wall. I got up, waiting for another attack. After a few seconds, I noticed it was not about to attack, so I made the move, rushing in. It hopped towards me just as I came near, and nearly missed my face. One lucky slash is all it took, its movements stagnant.

I started to pick up the gel, when I heard another splot, far down the hall. My gathering quickened, as I was in no shape to try to fight again. I also knew that there was bound to be many more.

The hill I had fallen down didn’t seem to be as steep as I originally thought, though there were a few spots I had to jump to, to continue upwards. I jogged down this next hall, seeing the sunlight hitting the bottom of the entrance in the distance. “Shoot, I forgot the torches! Oh well, I have a feeling that I’ll be returning tomorrow, so I guess I can just leave them there. I wonder how long the magical gel with burn for though?” It felt great to get the soft feeling of grass under my feet as I reached the bottom of the entrance. Along the way up, I could see the vines I had chopped down, crumpling under my feet. I looked up to see where I had chopped them off, and made a startling discovery – the vines had already started growing back! Some had even grown over a foot long, yet I had only been in the cave for a few hours!

“Ah, Tydides, good to see you again!” The man stood at the entrance to the cave, his arms crossed with a big grin on his face. “I hope you made good work with your time spent down in the cave, it has some valuable materials hidden deep within. Let me see what you have found.” The man extended his arm, his hand open to me. I pulled out a piece of the metallic object, and put it in his palm. “Mmm, copper ore. While not very valuable, it is good for a beginner like you.”

“Excuse me, beginner?” I took offense to the term, yet I had no idea why. “I don’t see what qualifies me as a beginner. And if this is copper, it is definitely of quality and value!”

“I apologize Tydides, it’s just that you haven’t shown me much in a way that I should be confident in your building abilities. I passed by your shack on the way here, and I should tell you that one of the walls fell over. A cute bunny has made itself a home inside, though. I’m sure he’ll be quite comfortable there. You, on the other hand, need something a little more fitting for a human.” He threw the copper ore back in my direction, me barely catching it. “As for that ore, you will soon find many other much more valuable items back behind you, buried within the darkness. I should also mention that in this land, life is more valuable than objects. I hope you remember that,” the man winking as he said this.

Part 2: The Rising of the Sun

I was startled awake by a large piece of wood falling into my lap. I had feared this would eventually happen, but thankful that it had waited until morning.

“Good morning Tydides! I see you made it through the night. I am happy for this!” The man was on his hands and knees, gazing through the hole in the ceiling. “I apologize for ruining your roof, however I could not find a door on this…shack. I would have thought you would have already figured out how to make a door…but no matter! Today is a new day, and we have much to discuss!” Though I was not as cheerful as this man appeared to be, I was glad to be able to finally get some answers.

We walked a few minutes without much talking, as he showed me the easy way down the hill I had built my shelter on. “I am happy to see you figured out how to use your tools! Some of the others…no mind now! Building the shelter on top of the hill was a wise move, you will be glad to have chosen that spot as your home at a later time!”
Too afraid to ask about these ‘others’, I kept the conversation moving forward. “What do you mean my home? You don’t really expect me to continue living there, do you?”

“Hahaha! Of course not! I would not expect anyone to continue living in such abysmal conditions! I expect you to continue building upwards and outwards! I’m sure you can find the right materials to create a comfortable home.”

“I’m sorry, but you must keep forgetting, I don’t even know where I am.”

The man’s face formed a quizzical look as he responded, “You mean you really don’t remember where you are?”

“Well, no. Should I know where I am? Nothing around here looks familiar. Please, can you just tell me what this place is?”

“Hmm.” The man scratched his head, unsure of how to word his next sentence. “Let me show you something. This might help you.” He led me over to a short post, with a wooden board stuck to the top. As strange as it was, I didn’t recall seeing it the day before. I must have missed it in the tall grass. “Read this, and tell me what you think.”

I leaned around the board, and read it out loud, “’Welcome to the land of Tallon IV’. I don’t understand. How is this supposed to help me? Tallon IV sounds strangely familiar, but I don’t know why. Who owns this land?” I looked back at the man, and was surprised to see a smile form on his face.

“Why, you do of course. You named it yourself. Really son, whatever hit you must have had some impact on your head. Now look, it’s early morning, and I’d advise you to rebuild your home. I have a feeling that this next night will need something a little sturdier. I seem to recall a cave just past the hill you live on. Why don’t you go check it out? It may provide you with better materials to build your house with.” As much as I wanted to continue with my questions, I knew he wasn’t about to let on so easily. I turned away, but not without some more advice. “Oh, and if I were you, I’d take the sword along too. Just in case.”

With this statement, I had revised my thoughts, to ask just one more question. “Before I go, I need to know – how can I get home?”

“And as much as I’d like to answer that question Tydides, you’re not at the point for that to become clear. But hear me out – I promise that one day, you will find a way home.”

This time as I walked away towards my hill, he did not disappear. He stood there, watching me slowly make my way up the hill. Even though I still did not learn his name, I trusted him. I didn’t know who he was, where I am, and why he insists that I was the owner of these lands. Part of him seemed crazy. Then again, the sounds and images from the night didn’t seem natural either.

I found the other side of my hill to be much easier to traverse, and had no problem finding the entrance to the cave. Many vines draped over the top of the entrance, which didn’t leave much light to enter. Darkness extended well beyond my view into the cave, though it did not seem very steep. Slowly a cool breeze wept out of the cave and brushed over my face. The sense from the breeze last night returned, having the same effect. The hair on my arms raised up, along with my sense of fear. “Damn, the old man wants me to explore the cave, but how am I supposed to do that without a light? And even if I do manage to find a light, what does he expect me to find?” Suddenly I heard a rustle from behind. I noticed something move in the deep grass, but blended in so I wasn’t sure what it was. Instinctively I pulled out my sword, yet I had no idea how to use it. With a quick jump, a green slime came flying at me! I closed my eyes as I swung my sword with all my strength, falling backwards into the entrance of the cave. I rushed to my feet, and found that with such a poor swing, I had barely hit my target. Yet, unsure of how, the green slime was dead, a liquid oozing out of its side. Curiously I leaned in to get a closer look at this remarkable creature. For some reason the fearfulness of the cave had left me, the feeling of winning such a small fight raising my confidence. Whereas the enemy had the form of a round slime about a foot across, its insides were more gelatinous. I took a leftover stick from my chopping last night, glad that I had picked them up as I came back over the hill. Slowly I reached down to poke the unfortunate creature. *FOOM!* As if by magic, the gel attached itself to the wooden stick, and lit itself aflame. “How is this possible?! Nowhere in science has anyone discovered a gel such as this! By attaching it to a piece of wood, one can make a torch!” Quickly I turned around, my eyes upon the cave. “I suppose this answers my question of where to get light from.”

My happiness soon came to an end when another rustling came from behind. I retrieved my sword, and assumed a better position than the previous battle. *This time I’m ready for a slime!* My anxiety rose as the seconds went by, slowly waiting for it to jump out. Out popped a small white bunny, and I had to slow my swing as to not harm the creature. “Well this is a surprise. I suppose this land isn’t all magic and evil after all.” The small bunny sniffed the dead slime, then turned to nibble on some grass. I smiled at the thought of a peaceful land, and returned my thoughts to the cave. I grabbed as much gel as I could stuff into my pockets while careful to avoid the sticks, and faced the entrance. “I sure hope to see you again soon, Mr. Bunny.” And with that I stepped into the darkness of the cave, the torch my sole guidance.

An Unexpected Arrival

The sky far above was a pale blue as I opened my eyes. Blinking a few times, I realized I was lying in a bed of grass, with the fresh aroma of flowers somewhere near my head. I felt comfortable, yet uneasy. Slowly I managed to sit up, and was just able to get a view of my surroundings over the tall grass. The landscape was broad, covered with trees and other greenery for quite a ways, until reaching a hill some ways away. Turning the other direction as I got to my feet, a small hill met my view, also covered with grass, with the tall trees towering at the top. It was a beautiful land to behold. As much as I wanted to continue my gaze, the uneasiness returned. *Where am I?*

“Glad to see you’ve awoken!” A man startled me from behind, a moment ago of which he was not there. “You’ve been out for some time now, but do not worry, I have been looking over you. Welcome to these lands! Now before we discuss more important matters, what is your name?”

As nervous as I was a minute ago, something about this man calmed me. “Ty..Tydides is my name. Sir, may I ask you wh-“

“Where we are isn’t your concern yet, son. All you need to realize right now is above you.” I gazed up again, confused as to what he meant. “The sun, kid, look at where it’s at. I’d say we’ve got about a fourth of the daylight left to us, before that old sun goes down. And when it goes down…well, it’s a good thing I found you while it was still shining.”

“You say you found me lying in the grass, but how did I get here? I can’t seem to remember a thing. And furthermore, who are you?”

The man sighed, and began talking again. “As I’ve just told you, these matters are not of your concern at the moment. Night is falling, and I must be going. It’s dangerous to go alone, so take this. I wish I could help you further, but at least you are now awake.”

I looked down and saw what he had dropped at my feet: a satchel, inside containing a wooden axe, pickaxe, and sword. I stared down at the wooden sword, unsure what to make of the situation. “Um, excuse me, but what exactly do I need a sword for…?” Unfortunately when my eyes returned to level, the man had disappeared. There was no way he could have run over the hills in the matter of seconds. What worried me even more than his disappearing act was the phrase he uttered. Somehow it felt familiar.

I grabbed the tools and headed to the top of the nearest hill, to get a bearings of my surroundings. A better view of the landscape could at least give me an idea of how I got here. After a good twenty minutes of navigating the narrow ledges, I reached the top and peered through the trees. Bewilderment filled me as my eyes met the view. *Nothing but grass, trees, and a few small hills for miles.* A slight breeze brushed over me, sending chills down my spine. I looked up and realized the sun would be setting soon. The breeze blew by again, and once again I felt as though something was amiss. Somehow I knew, something was coming. I remembered what the man had said, “And when it goes down…” Night brought about something unnatural, and I wasn’t about to wait and find out what.

Hurriedly I looked at my surroundings. “What am I supposed to do now?! Oh why did that man just leave me here? Think Tydides, think…the man must have had a reason to believe I could survive on my own.” I moved my foot and heard the clinking inside the satchel on the ground. “The tools…? Obviously an axe is used to cut down trees, most likely for the wood. A pickaxe would be for mining or climbing, though I don’t see why I would need to be doing either of such things. And a sword, well, I hope I don’t have much need for one anytime soon. Was the man implying that I should cut these trees down?” Just then the wind rustled through the leaves of the trees, with an eerie stillness soon following. Looking into the distance, darkness was covering the lands, the sun giving off a deep red sunset. “All I want right now is to be inside somewhere safe, though I guess a basic wood shelter will have to do for the night.”

What seemed like only minutes went by as I had chopped down a few small trees nearby, and cut them into jagged planks. I realized that they wouldn’t stand well in the grass by themselves, so I cleared out the grass and dirt with the pickaxe. “Well that tool seemed to do a pretty good job. Maybe the man had a reason for giving it to me after all?” My gaze fell upon the wooden sword, unsure of what this meant. Rushing to finish, I completed my wooden shelter, if one could even call it that. Many cracks appeared in what was meant to be my ceiling, with stars shining through. I didn’t have time to craft anything remotely close to a door, so a larger wooden plank had to make do, with some stone holding it in place. I sat down with my back against the dirt that I had used as my far wall, hoping to get some rest.

Night passed by slowly, as I woke from my sleep often. Though the grass and leaves were a comfortable enough bed, it was the noises which stirred me awake. All night I could hear shuffling across my ceiling, as shadows passed over. Every so often a knocking and scraping came at my door, though I was in no way about to open to see what was just beyond. A wooden sword didn’t seem sufficient to lower my fear. Near the morning I could have sworn I heard moaning, though that could have just been my imagination. Eventually I fell asleep, the sounds slowly drifting away.

8-Bit Retrospective

Wow, another post! It takes a special game for me to really want to update this blog, and I've been just finishing one up lately. Before I delve into the 8-bit greatness as is this game, I should probably recap what I've done in the past few months. I feel like I'll talk about a game on here, but never finish the story.

I finished the main story of Fallout: New Vegas. Yeah. Well...it was extremely underwhelming. As much fun as the game was the whole time, that ending was really bad. I sided with the Legion after I killed Caesar (it was an accident, I swear), though that had no affect on the endgame content. I assassinated the President (sniping him from afar was quite satisfying, too bad I had to used VATS - or else I would have been known to be the spy). The Legion took over the Mojave, and basically killed everyone in their path. The Great Khans were merged into the Legion, but lost their name. The NCR, raiders, Powder Gangers, and remaining Brotherhood of Steel members were all hunted down and killed. Everyone else escaped West towards the Pacific. Oh, except the Boomers. Since they helped during the last attack, the Legion left them alone. As for me, the Legion leader gave me a gold coin with my face on it and said thanks. Both of which are useless to me. Then I was sent on my way and literally disappeared into the sunset. The 2nd saddest ending (but #1 most depressing) to a video game that I've ever seen, behind Conker's Bad Fur Day. I mean c'mon, nothing beats Conker's girlfriend dying at the end of the game, defeating half the purpose of the game. Maybe one day I'll play the NV dlc and finish the sidequests. Or start a new game and go on a melee weapon killing spree right from the get-go.

Since I've moved down here for grad school, I've barely played any console games. The house is so quiet, I feel bad having my TV on. So my DS is where I've been spending my game time. I should mention that I also recently finished Etrian Odyssey III, and started Etrian Odyssey. That deserves a separate post, with much more creativity and thought processing. It may still be coming, as I've been thinking about a good way to write it. Cross your fingers, if that post becomes a reality, I personally think it could turn out to be awesome.

So we come to Retro Game Challenge. If it weren't for Retro Game Master appearing on Kotaku, it is doubtful I would have picked this up. But I'm glad I did, and also happy that I played through Game Dev Story, as they feel similar, in the sense that fake game companies hype new games coming out soon, and have funny names for game rip-offs. I would like to discuss, however, each individual game found in RGC, and my feelings on them as well. Let me begin by saying that I have beaten all 32 (?) original challenges, with no cheats used. Even though many of the challenges are simple, I'm proud of that fact. I have beaten 5 of the 8 in story mode, with the only cheat used is continues, besides Rally King. I'll discuss the cheats more soon though.

Cosmic Gate was a wonderful first game. I believe it was based off of Galaga? I didn't take the time to look up what some of these games were ripped off from (though most seem pretty original). The game was not too difficult, yet made sure to amp up the difficulty in the later levels. The power-up was a neat idea, as it was not always easy to obtain, but extremely useful when used correctly. I did in fact use the super-secret warp to beat the game, to go from level 1 to 64 in one warp. I was disappointed that I had to use a continue when I only had 2 enemies left on the screen. Obviously once I continued, I had no problem defeating the two. Young Arino was programmed well for this game, and made the perfect noises and uttered the right phrases at perfect times, making me feel like I was doing really well. However, he becomes increasingly annoying in later games.

Robot Ninja Haggle Man was pretty frustrating in the beginning. At first I didn't quite understand the controls, combined with the mechanics of the doors. It took quite a few play-throughs to wrap my head around the ideas, but finally at one point it just clicked. Too bad once I beat the first (fake) boss, the challenge ended my spectacular run. Also, once again, when I beat the game, the only time I had to use a continue was during the 2nd and real final boss fight. And with no surprise, after I continued I didn't have much trouble defeating him. At this point I didn't realize RCG was comprised of sequels as well.

Rally King fits with what the developers were aiming for, however in my opinion, it is very poorly programmed. The concept is neat, and was happy to see them try to include an 8-bit type racing game. But with such a small screen, fast speeds, and a car that takes up an 8th of the screen, walls and objects come out of nowhere. It's very frustrating to be flying along in first place, when a wall appears from the top of the screen, when the tiny arrow showed that it's just a zig-zag in the track. And of course one bounces of the wall, comes to a complete stop after losing all momentum, and then gets rammed from behind by another racer. To me the game is almost unplayable. Personally, I wish they would have taken the arcade approach, with those monster truck racing games where the whole track is showed on the screen, and you can see every racer going around and over the obstacles. That would have greatly improved the overall RGC experience. But that's just what I want, and probably isn't 8-bit (though I don't think this is either, because it reminds me so much of MicroMachines, which I thought only came out on 32-bit systems?). To beat this game in story mode, I turned off all other vehicles, and took my time around the tracks. I would have turned off all damage as well, but couldn't get that cheat to work.

Star Prince is easily my favorite game on the cartridge, bar none. I'm not the biggest fan of shoot-em-ups, but when they aren't excessively difficult and include power-ups, I like to give them a shot. And this is exactly the type of schmups I enjoy. The first four challenges were no problem, though beating the game gave me quite some trouble. I had to use one continue on the first (and fake! I loved that!) final boss, and probably about 10 continues on the second (and real) final boss. The final bosses weren't that much different, but I feel like the real one was a tad faster, shot more projectiles which moved faster as well, and came further down the screen (reducing flying space) than the fake. I loved that game though, I hope to one day beat it without using any continues, which I could see myself doing here soon. Maybe what really stood out to me was the shield which absorbs enemy bullets, and after every 3, released a large charged shot. The shield made the game easier, but also gave the player a chance to try to speed up the game, and demolish enemies at a faster rate. This is the game which made me hate young Arino. There is so much going on during the final boss, that Arino never shuts up. Whenever the player has the shield up, and gets hit by a powerful shot, the shield disappears, and Arino makes a comment. Well the player is continuously putting the shield back up to either absorb the many bullets, or deflect those large shots, all of which are coming towards the ship at an alarming rate. So it leaves Arino making a noise or comment literally every 2 seconds, and that is not an exaggeration. Whoa! Dude! Aww! Wow! Whoa! It rivals Navi, it's that bad.

Rally King SP was completely unnecessary. Did the developers believe that the first Rally King was that good, that they felt the need to include a "sequel"? And it's the least bit of a sequel compared to all of the other sequels in the game. They changed a couple things on the track, but the courses are still exactly the same. Had to use the "no other racers" cheat again to finish this game. Nothing more needs to be said about this game, except that the developers added more garbage.

Robot Ninja Haggle Man 2 was a much better sequel. Not much was changed, besides larger levels (with thankfully much more time on the clock) and a few new items. But even many of the enemies are rehashed. But it's not really a bad thing. I don't have much to comment on about this game, because it really is just a sequel to an already pretty good game. Had to use a couple continues to beat this game, but not many. Definitely possible to beat both without continues.

Guardia Quest is the oddball of the group. As neat as it sounds to have a retro rpg included on this cartridge, it doesn't really fit it with these games in the long run. Each of these games can be beaten in a short amount of time, and definitely in one sitting, even the final game. But being an rpg, one needs to take hours to beat this game. As neat as it would be to legitimately beat this game without cheats, I feel like my time could be better spent elsewhere. Not that this is a bad rpg, it really is pretty good. Kinda grindy, but it's doable. Each of my characters are level 15, and have pretty good weapons, but I really don't feel like spending more time beating this game, especially when there is a cheat to view the credits. I think I'm just going to use the cheat to view the credits. I'm not wasting my time.

I will however, spend a great deal of time focusing on Robot Ninja Haggle Man 3. This game seems amazing. It's like Ninja Gaiden, except with rpg elements. And with me being someone who loves games where you collect trinkets and money, Haggle Man 3 is awesome. I plan on beating this game without any cheats or continues used. Though yes, I have seen how unfair many of the levels can be, with brutal platforming with enemies knocking the player back into the pits. But just like Arino on RGM, the player just needs to try again and again to figure out how to beat the game.

So there are my thoughts on RGC, and I hope I didn't miss any games. I recently purchased the Humble Indie Bundle 3, and while most games are crap (okay, not crap, but just not very good indie games, compared to what I'm used to), a few are very fun. So I hope to post again soon, to discuss some of the games that came in the bundle. I also received the Humble Indie Bundle 2, since I payed more than the average donator. $7.50 for 11 games is tough to beat. Unfortunately I started researching another cheap game that I've seen here and there online, and realized how much I want it. So if I do end up getting it, I'll for sure blog about it.

It's a free wasteland

The title is a quote graciously taken from Veronica, my in-game companion in Fallout: New Vegas. Each time the player asks to know more about her, that is her first response. I find that much like "War never changes" is a perfect fit for Fallout 3, her line is an excellent fit for its sequel. The Fallout series has always been about choices, and while I have not (yet) played the first two and a half games in the series, I feel as though New Vegas upped the ante over 3 and pushed the limits of how far a decision making RPG can go.

Before I get into my outpouring of love for New Vegas, I want to get my gripes out of the way. The bugs and glitches in this game are through the roof. I have come across so many glitches, it makes Enter the Matrix look like a well programmed game. While I haven't kept track, I'd say the game has froze on me about six times, twice happening today. It isn't like there is one particular reason why the game keeps freezing/crashing. The first time I was just wandering the wasteland when it froze. Twice more it got stuck on the loading screen between areas (with the loading bar still rolling - quite funny seeing as how the point of a moving text or object during a loading screen is to show that the game is still running and has not froze). Both times today it happened after the loading screen, when the screen goes black for a moment as the player hears the door shut behind them. While I have learned to cope with the freezing by saving often - usually every few minutes - it is still frustrating.

How about a save file not loading? Trust me when I say that that almost ended the game for me. Luckily people online found that loading a previous save file and then pausing and loading from that game will resolve the issue. What is with the programming in the game? I haven't even mentioned the other non-threatening bugs, such as floating objects, companions and npc's getting stuck in the environment, wacky character animations, etc. Ever see a person type at an invisible computer? How about a chair spinning inside an empty room? It saddens me that I sometimes need to alter my gameplay just to continue playing the game. Just a few days ago I walked into an area with ground textures that hadn't loaded. I quickly turned around and decided to take a different path around the mountain. No point in walking into a literal well-laid bug.

But frustrations aside, I have to admit that this is an amazing game. After finishing Fallout 3, I craved for more. I played through all five download content content packages, and while they were mildly entertaining (especially Point Lookout, which I highly recommend to any Fallout 3 enthusiasts), they were too short and random to satisfy that craving. Months went by, and eventually Fallout: New Vegas was released. After hearing about the staggering amount of bugs, and how it just wasn't as good as 3, I decided to pass. By then my craving had subsided, and thought my Fallout days were over. Obviously that wasn't true, with a friend continually urging me to play it, trying to explain how different it was from 3, but staying true to the almost-perfect game mechanics. I eventually gave in after finding the game for $5 used. After about an hour, I was hooked once again.

Gone are the days of a linear story with just two sides: good and kinda-bad-but-still-an-okay-idea (the Brotherhood vs. the Enclave). Yes, New Vegas still has a pretty linear story, but even if many of the sidequests and other factions don't have much to do with the overall ending to the game, the developers sure made it feel as though they do. Gaining fame or infamy with different factions and within important places is a fresh take on the choice progressing RPG genre. Join one faction, piss off another. Kill npcs of one of the factions, and gain infamy. Many quests with factions lead to destroying your reputation with another faction. While I haven't had a chance to mess up the main story yet, I feel like I have already made enemies with a couple groups.

Which leads me to my current choices. The Powder Gangers just seem like idiots. They're a bunch of criminals who have ganged up to take on anyone who faces them, especially the NCR, the ones who put them in prison in the first place. I too am a criminal, but at least I have a goal. I have yet to see them come up with a true goal in mind, besides hijacking caravans for weapons and other items. For some reason I'm still hated by them, just because I killed four of their men in the first mission of the game. I even killed a small hoard of NCR men who stormed their prison facility. I'll leave them be for the time being in the game.

The Great Khans haven't even made an appearance in my game, so I don't know what their ideals are yet.

The NCR and Caesar's Legion. I still haven't hit the turnaround of the story, so I can't say I know much about the motives of these two groups. But I can say that I'm not a fan of the NCR. Killing those six or seven men at the Powder Ganger's prison gave me high infamy within the NCR faction, putting me at vilified on their list. The reason why I was happy to see this, to be an enemy of theirs, is that I find their goals to be pointless, and the faction falling apart. Wherever I go, I hear stories of how while they're smarter than their enemies and have better weapons, they still have less men. Stories about how the NCR is the "sheriff" of the west, and yet the faction is falling to pieces. And their motives? They're still fighting for the Hoover Dam, or so I'm told since I haven't been there yet, for power. Literally, power, like the generator. We'll see how true that is later. They ran the Brotherhood out of Helios One for what reason? Power. So far I have heard of them claiming two areas, both for the sake of power. Luckily they didn't know (or rather didn't believe in, same as the Brotherhood) of the secret weapon at Helios One. I made sure to put it to good use by targeting the local NCR men at the facility, and putting them out of their misery. Too bad the player isn't allowed to target other locations like the missile silo in Fallout 3. The NCR also comes across as a big group of bullies. They mean well by trying to play sheriff, but so far just push other groups around for their own means. At least the Brotherhood in Fallout 3 had a means to their ferocity.

Caesar's Legion seems like a good fit for me. I'll be honest, I started playing New Vegas with the thought that I wanted to play as the bad guy this time in a Fallout universe. Here's my story to the introduction to the Legion. As I walked into a random town, a man comes running out, and as he spots me, claims he won the lottery. Now, each time I've come across a random NPC in the wasteland, I've let them be, and run on their way (though the last two turned around and shot me after they walked away, but I didn't take that into account with this man). But I wanted to be a little evil, and wanted that lotto ticket. As soon as he ran past me, one bullet. I happily took the lotto ticket and anything else of value off of him. As I walked into town, the Legion who had taken over approached, and told me their story of fooling both the NCR and Powder Gangers into coming into the town at the same time, captured both sides, and killed most of them. They held a lottery for who died how. One lucky winner got to leave town unscathed. I now how that lottery ticket. I knew then that this was the group for me.

And so I listened to their ideals, about how they hate the NCR for pushing them back West (or East? I've gotten quite confused about where the Legion resides or came from), and how the Powder Gangers are just a bunch of fools to them. The NCR seemed too uptight and nice for me, and knew that to stay in good faith with the NCR, would have to hold back on my killing. Sure there are plenty of Powder Gangers and Legion members to kill out there, but the NCR has their own base. I know that one day, I will take down that base as one man versus a small army (though most likely with a companion). So I decided to do a quest for them. They sent me to kill three NCR officers in a large camp. When I got there, the NCR didn't look kindly upon me, but did not shoot either. By that point I went from being Vilified to a Merciful Thug, so I don't know how I gained trust in their eyes. I did one mission for them, and during the second realized that by helping them, I was gaining fame. As much I wanted the achievements, exp and items from completing the mission, I couldn't help but turn on them. Killing the three officers wasn't enough for me. The whole camp had to be exterminated. One by one I took out unsuspecting NCR members, many with a literal knife in their back. I then proceeded to steal everything from the camp and sell it for money elsewhere. I've killed a good 15-20 NCR members during that attack, and yet still only held a Merciful Thug title. As easy as it would be to kill random NCR members around the wasteland, I'm keeping them alive in case they're needed for quests.

Before I get into the final faction feelings, I would like to say that Bethesda did a good job incorporating time into New Vegas. In 3, time was just used for two things: sleeping to recover health, and when shops opened and closed. The same applies to New Vegas, but the developers made sure to have missions use the clock as an element. Certain objectives cannot be completed during some times of the day. For example, the Helios One weapon cannot be activated during the night, because the solar panels need the sun in the right spot to "detonate." I hope other missions incorporate the clock as well. The best use so far has been the NCR rangers. Soon after I became vilified, three NCR rangers, the best of the best for weapon handlers, randomly ran up to me in the desert, and told me I had three days to live, lest I change my image within the NCR. The first time I saw them I attacked, because I hated the NCR. They demolished me. Three hits and I was dead. I reloaded and decided to let them keep talking for two more days. Every 24 hours they would find me, wherever I was in the desert, and check up on me. Since I hadn't changed my title (Merciful Thug at the time), they kept counting down the time, two days, then one day. During the final day I destroyed the camp I previously spoke of. Let me tell you, those final 24 hours were nerveracking. After having been demolished the first time, I really didn't want to try to face them again. I had no idea how I was going to kill them. They only thing I had my side was that during the final 24 hours, I hid in a vault. As I emerged, I realized that I had probably spent about 48 hours inside the vault, well past the time frame of when I was to be killed. At that point I knew I had little time to plan for an attack. Every few minutes I would save my game, knowing that they could strike at any moment, from any direction. As I was turning frantically in every direction, watching to see them run up from a certain direction (since the player has a few seconds to see them running up from the distance), still just outside the vault, I decided that a nearby rock was my best plan. So there I stood for a good ten minutes in real time, waiting for certain death. When they arrived, they said one sentence, and started firing. That rock was my saving grace...well, and a good fifteen stimpacks. But the rock made for good cover, and they weren't smart enough for the first few minutes of the fight to just walk around it and run up the backside of the hill. By the time they realized this, I had already taken out one ranger, and grievously wounded the head ranger. Many in-game weeks have passed since the attack, and I have yet to receive another ultimatum from the NCR. Maybe later when I decline to join them. I will say that I'm pissed that I was offered a quest to help the NCR, and for completing it, would be absolved of all acts of violence against the NCR. I obviously declined the offer, yet the game still glitched and was absolved of my acts. I just realized this earlier today, as my rank went back to neutral. Very unhappy that the game did this.

So finally, I come to the quest I've been working on lately, which has been to help out the Brotherhood of Steel. I was happy to see them return to the game, after what I thought was just myths of them living in the west. The first companion I came across turned out to be a Brotherhood member, and after she stated that she hates the NCR, I knew we would quickly become friends. Her and I have done much together, and so I'm trying to help her figure out her path. I just completed her mission today, and while it was disappointing, I at least tried. After checking online, it looks as though both endings to her quest are sad, yet I chose the correct route for future gameplay. I still need to figure out how to help the rest of the Brotherhood, and whose side I should take. Unfortunately while looking at my companion notes online, I read about a later mission in the game, which made my stomach sink. It may be a free wasteland, but it doesn't make it any less harsh.

Turn the Valve, Release the Humor

A few days ago, I gave in and purchased Portal 2. I was quite hesitant, as I wasn't sure if the $60 price tag was worth the value. The original Portal still remains one of my favorite games of all time, probably somewhere within the top ten. While the game never changes, I still find a ton of replay value. Unfortunately, the hype for the sequel died down as the release date grew closer. As more magazines and reviewers played the game, the less attention the game garnered. The one problem of the original was the short length the game had. The first playthrough took about 3 to 4 hours, with future playthroughs taking an hour long, if that. So while the reviewers would say that the single-player game for Portal 2 is twice as long as the original, an 8 hour game for $60 turned many onlookers away. One of the reasons Portal gained so much attention was that for $20 (for the Orange Box), one also received Half-Life 2, Half-Life 2: Episode 1 and Half-Life 2: Episode 2. Well worth the $20.

Now, this post isn't about the length of Portal 2, or if I enjoyed it or not. I'll be up front and succinct. I played through the game at a snails pace to try to find all of the hidden areas and any subliminal messages, and finished at around 15-18 hours. If I were to rush and just try to beat the game as fast as possible, I probably could have beaten it in about 6-8 hours the first time around. So honestly, they weren't kidding with saying it's about twice the length of the original. Unfortunately, while I wish the first game was longer, I felt as though Portal 2 actually dragged on too much! I'm not saying I wanted the game to end, but the variety of the game was rather...random. The game didn't flow as well as the original, and I felt as though the developers ran out of time. All of the ideas implemented in the game worked very well, but it could have been presented much more smoothly. But hey, this opinion could very well change my second time through. So that basically answers the second question of whether I enjoyed it or not. Definitely yes, though probably not as much as the original. Was it worth $60? I'll be able to answer that after I play co-op mode, which I'm quite excited to try out - but only with a friend.

No, this post is about Valve. While the gameplay mechanics didn't always flow together seamlessly, the writing in Portal 2 was fantastic. Part of the reason why the game took so long is because I would stand around just listening to the voices of the few characters to see what they would have to say. Portal 2 introduced me to my new favorite character in a video game - Wheatley.

I'll get back to him later though. I want to point out that I honestly could not decide whether I wanted to focus this post on the humor of Valve, or the voice acting in Portal 2, so I'm going to do one better and combine them. Trust me when I say that they go hand in hand. After chuckling to myself numerous times throughout Portal 2, I started to think back to past Valve games that I played. It occurred to me that this has been a trend for their staff, to put in light humor in even the darkest of games they develop.

While they have developed a variety of games, I have only played a few. My first foray into the games of Valve was Half-Life, which I actually played only 6 years ago. While there wasn't much humor in the game, there were a few instances where a scientist would tell you to do a certain thing, and would scold you for doing the opposite, or pushing a button without being told. Obviously this would leave a smile on a few faces of gamers, chuckling inside about the situations Gordan Freeman would put scientists in.

In Half-Life 2, the improved graphics and voice acting lead to advancements in body movements and situational humor. Gordan Freeman could pick up any light object, and toss it at unsuspecting NPCs. Most would cry out "Ow!" or "Stop that!" and since this was introduced within the first few seconds of the game, provoked players to continue fiddling with the NPCs throughout the rest of the game. Only seconds later a combine (policeman) knocks over a pop can and tells Freeman to pick it up. Throwing it at the guard leads to a beating, quite a humorous reaction. As the player moves throughout the game world, they can often sneak up to combine guards speaking to one another about random and trivial life situations. Listening to these conversations reveals the humorous side of the Valve staff. Not to mention a scientist rambling on about unsuccessfully sending a cat through a teleportation device. What's better is that the player can fiddle with and eventually break a smaller teleportation device, angering the scientist. Brings back memories of the original Half-Life.

Episodes 1 and 2 of the Half-Life series continue this same trend of humor, angering scientists, listening to NPCs, etc. In one situation, the player falls into a pitch black room, and quickly hears a zombie behind them. As they turn and put their flashlight on the target, they realize it is just the NPC traveling alongside Freeman, trying to scare the player in the dark. Well played Valve.

I suppose I should mention Team Fortress 2, since I do own it, and have at least played it for a few minutes. All I can say is that it's like a Wile E. Coyote cartoon on steroids with better graphics. If a player had the option to use a giant hammer and could smash an enemy flat, it honestly wouldn't look out of place to me. For such a serious and fast paced game, they tried to make it as humorous as possible.

And then we get to the Left 4 Dead series. These games feel like they were built on humor, and they probably were. Take the most cliche horror flicks with tons of zombies, and throw in the humor of four strangers just trying to stay alive. Subtitles are almost a requirement to fully realize the humor of each individual character. What's more is that in Left 4 Dead 2, references can be found to other horror games, such as the original Left 4 Dead, Dead Rising, and others.

But enough about the past games. I feel like I was dragging on back there, but I'm trying to point out that Valve has been putting humor in most of their games, whether it be blatently obvious or subliminal messages. It wasn't until Portal 2 that I really started to think about this stuff. I realized that Valve develops incredible games, yes, but tends to add humor to each and every one of them, to keep the player interested. Are you going to find subliminal humor in Halo or Call of Duty? Probably not. Valve creates some of the few FPS games out there that feature this kind of gameplay including this humor.

The humor extends beyond the actual gameplay as well. I'll get into it in a bit, but let's just say I came across a character in Portal 2 with a very recognizable voice. Today before finishing the game, I did some research and found that it is indeed the person who I thought it was, and right then I knew this post had to be written. I only came across this a few hours ago, but Valve likes to (either on purpose or randomly) add humor through the voice casting of game characters as well.

Let me start off by saying that Portal 2 has 4 character voices. Each of these voices meant something to me when I found out what else they have done in the past, and I must say, Valve picked some interesting choices for their character voices.

Let's start with Chell. Chell is the main character in Portal 2, and as far as I still know, has no voice. I have never heard her speak a word. Even after falling off a ledge, not a thing. So it was a little surprising to see that not only does she have a voice actress (Alesia Glidewell), but she also did the voice for Krystal in Star Fox Adventures and Zero Suit Samus in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Sure people do various voice work for video games, but doing a couple Nintendo games and then a Valve game seemed surprising to me. But let me continue.

GLaDOS was the main character and probably only voice (besides the turrets) in the original Portal. The same voice actress (Ellen McLain) reprises her role as the insane machine, but did you know she also did some other voice work for Valve? Not only did she sing the song at the end of Portal, but also had a voice in the Half-Life 2 series and Team Fortress 2. Not very surprising. But how about the fact that she voices the witch in Left 4 Dead 2?! Talk about a bizarre role. I had assumed they found some random voice actress to speak (or rather cry) the few lines for the witches in L4D2. The fact that they used the same people seemed rather humorous to me. But it gets even better.

My new favorite character in any video game is Wheatley, who's quite interesting in Portal 2. I cannot say much about him, because I don't want to give away any spoilers. Giving a description of Wheatley could even spoil some of the plot and/or story of Portal 2, so I'll just say that he's not very bright. But with that comes the funniest and most random character I've every met in a game. He probably has twice the amount of lines of GLaDOS in Portal 2, which means the writers spent quite a deal of time on what he says. What may come as a shock is that he is voiced by Stephen Merchant, writer and producer of The Office, both the American and European versions of the show, and the Ricky Gervais Show. How Valve found him I have no idea (having no ties to the video game industry), but obviously they found someone who understands the exact same type of humor they were looking for for Portal 2. The most interesting thing is that while he plays the voice of Wheatley, he didn't write any of the lines for the character, even though he's a great comedic writer himself. And here we have the best for last.

J. K. Simmons. I don't think I've ever seen him in a movie and disliked his character. It's almost always the same sarcastic man he plays, who has an attitude and wants to get work done. Once I heard the voice of Cave Johnson, I was like "No way..." But it is true, somehow Valve acquired J. K. Simmons to play a role in Portal 2, even having no past experience voice acting for video games. Every time he came on the announcement speakers, I would stop moving and just listen and read the subtitles. While not as funny as Wheatley, he fits the character perfectly, especially for the era he's placed in. Sure I could have blown through the game, but I've never come across a game like this, where I enjoy listening to every single little line in the game, even when it involves standing around waiting for the characters to say something different.

Oh, and while this isn't a direct spoiler in any way shape or form, I'm glad that I tried reading the smallest pictures on the walls in the game, as I found out that the Aperture Laboratories are located in the mines of Northern Michigan. I just thought that was kinda neat.